2018 MN State Fair New Foods Preview Part 2

We continue our look at the 2018 New Foods with the next 5 foods on the list.

You can find part 1 here!

Onwards!

Fire Cracker Shrimp Stuffed Avocado

Gulf white shrimp tossed with lime, onion, black beans, tomato and fire-roasted corn in a garlic aioli, drizzled with cilantro-infused olive oil, stuffed in avocado halves and served open-face with flatbread.

At the Hideaway Speakeasy

Sarah

So at first I was like “huh, okay” but then I saw that it was from the hideaway speakeasy and I screamed so loud that the sound turned into literal fire until I looked like Azula from Avatar the Last Airbender.

Azula Blow GIF from Azula GIFs

Fuuuuuuuck the Hideaway Speakeasy. The stuff they forced us to eat last year was so bad it literally put me in a rage lather. Not to mention you have to walk up a billion stairs to get to it, there was no official line so people kept budging, and everything cost as much as a small island in the Caribbean (at least according to Island Hunters. That show is great!) I was seriously hoping they would not be here again this year.

But nooooo. Here’s a new fucking dish we have to eat. And on the surface it looks like maybe it would be okay, right? Skrimp in avocado? Yeah! Sure! But I know I’m gonna eat this and wanna barf and then want to rage all over again.

Shit. I’m already raging and it’s only the beginning of July.

Anne

This was the 2^nd thing I saw that I figured Packie would be irritated about because he no like avocado- OH HOLY SHIT THIS IS AT THE HIDEAWAY SPEAKEASY???!!!

How in THE HELL did they get renewed for another year? OMG I’M GOING TO HAVE TO WALK ALL THE WAY UP TO THAT CRAPHOLE AGAIN ONLY TO HAVE TO SPEND WAY TOO MUCH MONEY ON OVERPRICED TRASH FOOD!

I mean, you’d think this would be hard to mess up. It looks good! I like all the things in it! But GODDAMN was everything from Hideaway Speakeasy last year just really, fucking awful.  Like- everyone I spoke to about it agreed!  IT’S AWFUL.

So even though I thought this looked tasty I am hella concerned and irritated already- not a good way to go into any new food.

Patrick

This place can eat a dick.  I said it.  I don’t want to try this, I don’t want to burn a hole in my wallet to pay for it, and I don’t want to even give it my time to critique it.  I’m not even waiting until after I try it and after the fair for my follow up analysis.  This gets an F.  It’s shit, you know it, I know it, let’s move on.

General Tso Chicken Taco

Battered and deep-fried chicken tossed in a sauce of ginger, garlic, soy sauce and Asian spices, with seasoned cream cheese and topped with wonton crisps and green onion, served on a flour tortilla. 

At Midtown Global Market’s Taco Cat 8/29-9/3

Sarah

Well okay! So Sarah doesn’t like Mexican food. Which is sad because Sarah likes the IDEA of a lot of Mexican food. Like tacos. She wishes she liked tacos because they look really good.

So whenever there’s a taco that’s not a Mexican taco, I am excited! And everything on this looks really good. Except for the cream cheese. What the fuck. Why is that on there?  This is like when you’re eating some good sushi and then someone sticks some cream cheese in their roll for dumbass reasons. NO ONE NEEDS THAT.

So in general I am excited about this one, but have a healthy amount of side-eye at that cream cheese.

Anne

This is the other split week vendor at Midtown Global Market.  First, I appreciate the palindrome name.

Hey, this looks pretty good! I like the marriage of Asian food and Tacos, because I could stand to have more tacos in my life (a problem that is 100% attributed to Sarah and her lack of liking Mexican Food).

It’s unfortunate that they chose to serve this on a dumb ol’ flour tortilla though, because those are stupid and not tasty and a waste of calories, especially when they could’ve served it in some sort of hard shell (freaking wonton shell! YOU DONE FUCKED UP TACO CAT!) or even a fried corn tortilla so it’s at least a little crispy.

Patrick

…It is practically a whole damn avocado that they ham-fisted some crap into and haphazardly drop onto a plate with “flatbread”.  Looks more like pita chips, but what the fuck do I know?  Served “open-face”?  What is it, a god-damn sandwich?  This so damn stupid….sorry, I hate this Hideaway Speakeasy so much, it spilled into my next review.  Sorry everyone, sorry.

Here we go with another restaurant at Midtown Global Market, and another food item that hey, actually looks kind of good.  They usually do.  It just hardly ever pans out that way.  How do you even pre-review a place where the food always looks good, and rarely tastes that way?  Here goes:  I like the sound of an Asian taco with battered General Tso chicken and wonton crisps, and I predict it will taste like mediocrity on my tongue.   Best of luck to you Taco Cat.

Honey Cream Soda Float

Honey cream soda (made without sugar) poured over Minnesota Grown honey ice cream.

By Minnesota Honey Producers

Sarah

Is this going to be another barfinade? Whenever honey comes into any drink I automatically worry that it’s going to be barfinade all over again. Which is too bad because I’m thinking this might be okay and maybe even good. I like me some floats, and there’s nothing citrus in here, so I don’t THINK this will be a new barfinade but I guess we’ll find out. I do like it when we get some cold things on the menu, because typically it’s hot when we’re at the fair, so hopefully it won’t be, like, raining when we have to try this.

Anne

I view anything with honey with shifty side-eyes, ever since we tasted the WORST THING EVER (WTE) ™ (BARFINADE YOU DICK), so my immediate reaction was excitement that was quickly tempered. However, I do recall that we enjoyed the honey ice cream, and so I think this might actually be good. The Honey Cream Soda will make or break it.

Patrick

I’m still pretty gun-shy after trying that honey lemonade several years back (infamously known as “Barf-o-nade”).  They really packed the honey in this one, eh?  Honey cream soda AND honey ice cream?  I have to say I don’t look forward to trying this.  I like honey, but I don’t like cream soda, I’m not a big ice cream eater, and I don’t particularly like any kind of “float” drink.  I know, I’m kind of a monster.  Accept it, and accept that I can’t fairly judge this drink for that reason.  Because it’s gross, cold crap, is what it is!

Irish Tater Kegs

Jumbo deep-fried tater tots made with a blend of corned beef, sauerkraut, Swiss cheese, sour cream and potatoes drizzled with house-made Thousand Island dressing and nestled on a bed of sauerkraut.

At O'Gara's at the Fair

Sarah

As soon as I saw this picture I was like “yeeeeeesssssss.” But then I read the title and I was like, “Oh, shit, they’re going to be at O’Gara’s.” And I was right.

And then I read the description and I got confused as hell. How are they jumbo tater tots if they’re made out of corned beef, sauerkraut, Swiss cheese (you know, that Irish staple: cheese from the swiss) and THEN, finally, taters?

No. Just no. Whyyyyy did they do this to the beloved tot? Why did they think “let’s throw in a lot of garbage, like corned beef and sauerkraut, then add some different region cheese and top it with the dressing that no one ever puts on their salad and call this a slam dunk?” 

I predict this will be terrible. And not just because it’s O’Gara’s and they are typically a huge miss.

Anne

Ok- first, I really don’t like the phrase 'nestled on a bed of sauerkraut' because that implies sauerkraut is something good and soft or cute and IT IS NOT.  Also, this is at O’Gara’s, so it’s going to look interesting and good and then completely miss the mark.

Just take a break O’Gara’s. Just give us all a freaking break.

Patrick

Hahahah!  This just sounds like Sarah and Anne repellent in a basket.  Pretty sure they hate sauerkraut, or just refuse to try it because they’re convinced they’ll hate it.  I get it, I used to be the same way, but I’ve actually grown to like sauerkraut the more I try it.  This is O’Gara’s we’re talking about though.  They try so hard to be relevant, and always trip over their untied laces because they’re children who don’t know what people want (or how to tie their fucking shoes apparently).  Sauerkraut aside, I don’t see anything inherently off-putting about this dish, I just know O’Gara’s, and they’re going to kill tater tots for me on this one, I just bet.

Mangonado Shave Ice

Mango-flavored shave ice drizzled with Mexican chamoy sauce, dusted with tajin chili powder, topped with popping mango boba pearls and served with a tamarind candy straw.

At Minnesnowii Shave Ice

Sarah

Wait. Has it always been “Shave” ice and not “shaved?” Is that how it is everywhere? Or just at Minnesnowii?

Hmm. Normally this would piss me off, but the truth is Minnesnowii has the world’s best shaved ice, hands down. Ultra-fact. So is they want to call it something grammatically weird, they can.

This seems…interesting. Interesting not good? I’m not sure. Now I will fucking shove a child over for a chance to eat bobas (regardless of how our mom thinks they’re not good. (THEY ARE GOOD, MOM. YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOUR PALATE)) and as I’ve already stated, Minnesnowii is the absolute best, so I am already pre-disposed to trust them. But Sarah doesn’t like Mexican food, and mostly that’s because she doesn’t like the seasonings and flavors, so let’s just say I am hesitant about this.

Also mango is not my shaved ice flavor of choice. But I love you, Minnesnowii. If you want me to shove this in my craw, well then. I’ll take this Mexican seasoned bullet for you. I love you.

Anne

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY WITH THIS ONE!

First- has it always been SHAVE ice? Because I’ve always called it SHAVED ice BECAUSE THAT MAKES GRAMATICAL SENSE! Hold on…

God Damnit, Instagram confirms that the business is called Shave Ice. This is just fucking awful.

OK, moving on, MinneSnowii is OUR JAM! So while I am super excited for them that they have something that made the New Foods list…wtf? Maybe I just want to get the Shave (barf) Ice I always get!

Also- this just looks cray.  I mean- I really freaking love bobas, so I’m preeeetttty excited about that.  But some of this stuff I don’t even know what it is!

Chamoy Sauce = apparently a sauce made from pickled fruit, and is salty/sweet/sour/spicy. Why don’t you just do all the flavors then?

Tajin Chili Powder = Apparently Tajin is the name of a Mexican Company. They have a seasoning powder made from Chile peppers, salt, and dehydrated lime juice that is tangy and spicy and used on fruits and vegetables. So not sure if that’s what this is referring to, or if it’s just a straight up Chili Powder made from this company.

Tamarind Straw = ok I’ve had Tamarind before- it kind of tastes like fig. I found it enjoyable. I’ve never had it in straw form so that’ll be something new.

Overall this thing is crazy so you get high marks for that, MinneSnowii.

Patrick

Ok, ok, ok.  MinneSnowii Shave Ice is hands down my favorite place to get shaved ice at the fair.  I probably get one every day I go.  I’m super thrilled that they are on the new foods list this year, good for them!  I suppose I can give up picking whatever delicious flavor of shaved ice I want on one of the days to give this one a try.  I’m not super crazy about mango flavored things, but I don’t mind it as a flavor choice.  Plus, boba pearls are the best.  Just little explosions of sweet juice in your mouth.  Never heard of chamoy sauce before this and had to look it up.  Savory and salty sauce on top of sweet flavored ice?  Why not!

Tomorrow will be part 3!