2019 MN State Fair Eve

This is it, guys

THIS IS IT!!!!

Tomorrow is the day! One of the best of the year. The first day of the 2019  Minnesota State Fair season!

via GIPHY

The weather is supposed to be a glorious 74 degress, and we are excited.

If you're looking for real time, live reviews of all the new foods (yes alllll of them. Except the single food that isn't available until the second half of the fair) then check out our Instagram!

@FairFestFeasts

This is hands down the most effecient way to see our thoughts about the foods as we eat them. We post immediately after those foods have entered out mouths. Neat!

Hope to see you at the fair!

2018 MN State Fair New Foods Preview Part 5

We did it! We're on the last day, the final 6 new foods.

Just think, once you're done reading through this post, you're one step closer to ACTUALLY ATTENDING THE STATE FAIR!

You can find the earlier posts here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Triple Chocolate Strawberry Shortcake

Dense chocolate cake with chocolate chips and fudge icing smothered with strawberries and whipped cream.

At the Strawberry Patch

Sarah

So add another food to the list that I was excited about and then saw the vendor. Last time the Strawberry Patch had a featured new food it was not good, so I am very cautious about this one. They haven’t burned me enough to be angry about it, yet, but I’m definitely wary. Outside of that, though, this looks pretty good. Except for the chocolate chips. Chocolate chips are a bastard food. People stick them on anything for “reasons” and think it improves the dish but they are wrong. Chocolate chips are only good when they’re melted in something, so like a hot cookie or brownie. But just thrown on something? Fuck no.

And probably this will be cold because it seems the strawberry patch only serves cold strawberries so that will make them even more objectionable.

Shit. The more I think about this the more angry I get.

This is butts. BAD butts, this time. Did you know that butts can be bad and good? Well they can.

Anne

First, I see they understand the difference between whipped cream and whipping cream, so they’ve apparently already got a leg up.

But honestly, this sounds ok. I am not overly fond of relying on chocolate chips to ‘add’ more chocolate, and chocolate and strawberry is just an ok combo to me. Is the strawberry Patch the place that we had that crappy donut strawberry sammich 2 years ago?

Holy shit y’all, it is. I thought for sure they would’ve been banned for life from the new foods list as they RAN OUT of the Strawberry Donut Delight 2 years ago! And when we finally got it it only ranked a D. Last time the strawberries were frozen and the whipped cream was from a can.

I guess we’ll see if they’ve stepped up their game, but I HIGHLY doubt it.

Patrick

This really reminds me of the strawberry donut delight that the Strawberry Patch made as a new food item two years ago. This looks as equally underwhelming. I don’t really like mixing chocolate and strawberries on my best days, but this just looks and sounds boring and unappetizing. It looks like a hockey puck surrounded by strawberries mashed with someone’s fists. I just feel like this place has no creativity. Two years ago, they said let’s throw mashed strawberries on a glazed donut, brilliant! Now they’re saying, let’s throw mashed strawberries onto a dense (who wants dense cake?) chocolate cake, revolutionary! Next year they’ll be exploring really wild territory by mixing strawberries and cream, oooooh.

Turduken Sausage Sandwich

A blend of turkey, duck and chicken served on a fennel bun and accompanied by a side of Giggles’ sweet and saucy relish. Gluten-free; no nitrates added.

At Giggle's Campfire Grill

Sarah

Huh. Okay, so normally Giggles is our absolute favorite place at the fair. Except last year their new food was a rare dud. And they got rid of the chicken fried bacon which broke our collective hearts.

So I still love Giggles. But I’m a little shy, now. Mostly, I think, because I’m not sure about this. It pretty much just looks like a sausage in a bun. Yes it’s a turducken sausage, but, also, that’s just a regular sausage, with turkey, duck, and chicken. That’s how the sausage gets made, Aaron Burr. You just grind up a bunch of meat, fat, and herbs and spices and stick them in some casings. Done.

I worry that this might be dry, because fowl sausage typically is drier than, say, pork. But maybe the duck fat will be enough to offset the chicken and turkey? I mean, logically that should work. Fun fact about the three of us: we make our own sausages, so we can be harsh judges of it (I’m looking at you, Fresh Thyme, with your terrible sausages.)

Also, there’s nothing served with it, other than the relish, which I am underwhelmed by, so this sausage just better be one of the best, to be able to stand on its own, like that. Also, there are a lot of great sausage places already at the fair, so they’re going up against some tough competitions.

So we’ll see. I love you, Giggles, and I hope this blows me away.

Anne

So I’ve always wanted to try a turducken, but putting it into a sausage seems…disingenuous? LOTS sausages are a mix of meats to help temper the fat levels and make sure it’s not too dry. So I don’t think this really counts as turducken- it’s just sausage.

Also...does...does this ACTUALLY count as a sandwich...?

Wikipedia says it needs to be meat/veggies/cheese between slices of bread, which means this doesn't count. To be sure, I double checked with my friend Stacy who is descended from the Earl of Sandwich (100% truthful here), so she counts as a sandwich expert in my mind. Her response: Sandwiches are square. Buns are round or tubular, so no it doesn't count as a sandwich.

There you have it folks!

Giggles’ is almost 100% great (RIP 2017) so I’m fairly confident that this will be quite tasty. I was just hoping for something more exciting from them. Also BRING BACK THE CHICKEN FRIED BACON!

Patrick

Giggles is always a delicious staple at the fair. You gotta go there for their crazy (yup) awesome crab cakes, and pretty much almost anything on their menu is great. Last year they had a rare swing and miss with their duck fat wontons, and it was doubly a sad blow to find out they had ceased making chicken-fried bacon (sob!). I feel like this year they kept it simple, which is maybe a good rebound idea, but still lured me in with the clever idea of turning a turducken into a sausage. I’ve secretly always wanted to try a real turducken, so this is a real dream come true opportunity. I even like the looks of that sweet and saucy relish. I’m hoping to fall in love all over again with Giggles, and hope this is the bouquet of flowers to make up for the hurt caused last year. We’ll get through this Giggles…just keep shoving your delicious foods in my mouth. That sounded kind of sexual…maybe it was. Maybe it was.

Up North Puff Pastry

Porketta sausage, cheese curds, coarse grain mustard and chopped dill pickle baked in a puffy crust sprinkled with pepper and sea salt.

At Sausage Sister and Me

Sarah

Yeah okay. This sounds like it could be great! The picture, though, looks a little underwhelming so I’m trying not to look at that and instead read the description because that’s where it really seems to shine.

I hope this is good. Little things you eat with your hands, like pies, or pockets, or pasties, are kind of the best, so I’m already predisposed to like this so as long as they don’t fuck it up, we’ll be aces.

Anne

Sausage Sister! You’re back! (not that they went anywhere- they’ve been in the new foods all along. They just sort of missed the mark the last year or two).

I chortled when I saw that they stuffed cheese curds into this. OF COURSE YOU DID! That’s how you add cheese at the freaking MNSF. Can’t wait to taste this.

Patrick

Why hello there Sausage Sisters. I’m always excited to see what you bring to the table each year. It’s not always great, but I like that you try, and stay true to your roots. I like the sound of this new attempt, yes I do. Sausage, cheese curds, coarse grain mustard, and pickles in a puff pastry crust? How can that not be good? I guess we’ll find out come time that I shove you in my craw. Here’s hoping you found a winner this year. If not, I can always go back for those baller meat balls.

Wood Grilled Elote

Corn on-the-cob grilled over an oak wood fire, brushed with chile-spiced mayo and sprinkled with queso Cotija & fresh lime juice.

At Tejas Express

Sarah

No. OHHHHH NOOOOOOOO. PACKIE. PACKIE WE ARE IN TROUBLE.

Anne has been trying to get Packie and me to try elote for years now. And we’ve always said “NO. NO WE WILL NOT DO THAT.” I mean, for me it makes more sense because, as previously stated a lot, Sarah doesn’t like Mexican food. Packie does, though, so who knows why he won’t try it.

Oh wait, it’s the mayo.

I just…I don’t want stuff on my corn on the cob.

But my objections have finally reached an impasse. Much like other things this year, the fair has spoken, and so in a few short weeks I will finally be trying elote for the first (and most likely last) time.

You got me, fair. You got me good.

Anne

YES! OMFG YES! Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get Sarah and Packie to eat freaking Elote?! (In their defense, they’ve tasted it once but it was a sub-par example). NOW THEY FREAKING HAVE TO EAT IT AND WILL RECOGNIZE HOW DELICIOUS IT ACTUALLY IS!

Dear god, DO NOT let me down Tejas Express. YOU BETTER FREAKING DELIVER! Looking forward to eating this and reveling in Sarah and Packie’s sweet, sweet irritation followed by their grudging respect when they discover how delicious it is.

Patrick

Ah hell crap damnit poop ass banana skunk. Elote is something I heard described of once as a corn on-the-cob covered in mayo and cheese, and I thought to myself: “that sounds like some disgusting crap, and I feel no desire whatsoever to try that.” People tell me, “no, it’s actually really good, you should just try it.” I laughed and responded, “Shut up Anne! You shut your dumb mouth. You’re spitting corn, mayo and cheese and making God cry with that nonsense, so keep your mouth shut while you eat that heathen cob.” Even my friend, who hates mayo (haaaates it), eats this shit! That’s like me saying, “hey, I’d never eat worms, but throw them on a cob and sprinkle with cheese, and you got a real seller there, champ.” NO, that doesn’t make sense, and neither does this stupid Elote! Well, you finally win Anne. I finally HAVE to try Elote as per our “try everything new” at the fair oath. Even if I find out by some miracle that I like this, I’m going to begrudgingly admit it with all the scorn and disdain I have for this monstrosity.

Za-Waffle Sticks

Waffles blended with pepperoni and mozzarella, topped with a parmesan herb blend and served with pepperoni-infused maple syrup or marinara sauce.

At Green Mill

Sarah

The last few years Green Mill has put out some of our favorite foods. I mean, they’re always just riffs off pizza, natch, but they’re always so frickin good! And look at this little fucker! These look great and I expect they will be!

Also, pepperoni-infused maple syrup? That sounds fucking absolutely bonkers and I cannot wait to try it.

So many good butts, here.

Anne

God Damn, Green Mill you absolute fucking delight. Green Mill is consistently an A vendor with crazy, delightful and delicious pizza offerings every year, and this year appears to be no exception. PEPPERONI INFUSED MAPLE SYRUP?! GTFO (right into ma mouf).

Patrick

Tee-hee, oh Green Mill. How do you do it? Every year you find some new and clever way to Italian-ize some food item and make it amazing. Pizza waffles? This looks great, and I’m always so wonderfully surprised by how amazing a job Green Mill does every year at putting out something fun and new. Does pepperoni-infused maple syrup sound like something I want on my pizza waffle? Hell no, but I’m gonna do it, and it’ll be great! I’ll eat it all, shake my head and smile up at that Green Mill truck. “Oh Green Mill, you clever scamp. Don’t ever change.”

Zesty PB&J Sausage

Peanut butter, cherry jelly and a hint of cayenne pepper and cilantro blended into a quarter-pound sausage.

At Gass Station Grill

Sarah

Lots of sausages on the list this year, but this one is kind of zany and wacky in a good way so I’m excited to try it. Like Giggles, this sausage is served plain, but unlike Giggles, this sausage itself looks like it’s supposed to carry it’s own weight (heh, literally since it’s gonna be hefty) so I’m excited to see how much of the peanut butter and jelly flavor comes through. I hope a fair amount. I will be disappoint if I can’t taste the peanut butter.

Also, though, cherry jelly? What the actual fuck? Is that even a real jelly? Listen, everyone knows grape jelly is how you make pb&js. Then if you aren’t going to do that, you do raspberry, or maybe strawberry. Cherry, though? What is this, Michigan? No. It’s Minnesota. Calm down.   

Anne

Hahah, what?! Peanut Butter Sausage? You crazy Gass Station Grill.

I am really not sure what to expect, but I hope the PB&J really shine through in this- if this is just a normal sausage with a hint of those flavors I am gonna be disappoint. GO BIG OR GO HOME.

Patrick

Oooh what? Gross! No, hell no! Where the hell did this theme come from where you shove everything imaginable into a sausage and think it’s a good idea? Why would I want these two things tossed in with meat? Peanut butter with meat is strange enough, but I’ve accepted by some strange food sorcery, that it can actually be pretty great. I’ll admit, again to much perplexion, that something like lingonberry jam somehow goes great with Swedish meatballs and gravy. Together though? Stuffed inside a sausage skin with sausage meat? This is a failure waiting to happen. What’s your first gut reaction to hearing “Peanut Butter and Jelly Sausage”? It’s gross! Go with that reaction.

And that’s it! The next step will be actually eating the foods and judging them accordingly. If you want to follow along live, check out our Instagrams at:

Sarah_Ahiers

AnneAhiers

Patrick_Ahiers

2017 MN State Fair New Foods Preview Part 5

Today is it. The final day. Part 5 of our 2017 MN State Fair New Foods Preview.

Yes, yes. Cry all you want. That is a healthy expression of your grief.

But soon, friend. Soon there were be actual food to cram in our mouths, not just pictures of food to stare at and whimper.

So we must forge on!

You can find parts One, Two, Three, and Four here.

Once more into the breach!


Sweet Corn Blueberry Éclair

Kernza® flour éclair filled with sweet corn pastry cream and topped with blueberry glaze.

At Farmers Union Coffee Shop on the north side of Dan Patch Ave. between Cooper & Cosgrove streets


Sarah

Look! Something sweet without chocolate, marshmallow or maple syrup!

I was immediately excited about this until I realized that it’s not the éclair that’s made our of sweet corn but instead, sweet corn kernals are in the cream.

That sounds kind of horrible to me. I’m really worried it will affect the texture of the cream, and if so, that will be hugely disappointing. But maybe it’s actually ground into a dust and that’s in the cream?

If so, then I’m back to being excited about this one.


Patrick

A good éclair is a little piece of heaven.  That cream inside has to be just right; thick, sweet, and soft.  The outside has got to be firm and chewy, and the chocolate on top needs to be sweet and glazed on thick.  Making it a blueberry glaze sounds like a delectable variation.  Blueberry is a desert flavor I can almost always get behind.  We’ll see how using a sweet corn pastry cream works out.  Looking forward to this treat.

Anne

WTF is Kernza flour?

OH!  Apparently it’s Intermediate Wheat Grass and is being developed by the U of M and might be a more sustainable crop than wheat going forward as it’s a perennial grass.

Well now I’m excited to try this wheat that tastes sort of grass like with hints of honey and molasses.  THE FUTURE!


Sweety’s Churros

Sweet potato, cinnamon and nutmeg kneaded into a traditional churro dough, deep-fried and served with a side of chocolate or maple-brown sugar sauce or whipped cream.

At Potato Man and Sweety on the west side of Liggett St. between Carnes & Judson avenues


Sarah

I like me some churros dipped in Mexican hot chocolate, so I’m down with trying these. Do you get one of each? (Yay!) or do you have to pick a flavor? (boo)

Also, I’m bummed you have to choose one of the three dipping sauces. (though, shocker, maple here, too!)


Patrick

Churros, to me, feel like another one of those confections that doesn’t really need to be messed with, and I’m not sure I’ve had a variation that I liked (tried a chocolate churro once and it fell below the mark).  Going with a sweet potato infused batter doesn’t seem like a stretch, but we’ll see if it can beat out the traditional, proud churro.  I’m skeptical on this one.

Anne

I’m gonna need both dips AND the whipped cream, thankyouverymuch.
I am intrigued about the sweet potato aspect and am actually really excited to try this.


Swine & Spuds

Bacon-wrapped pork belly and mashed potato croquettes served on a skewer and topped with a choice of homestyle gravy, Korean Bulgogi barbeque sauce or sweet chili sauce.

At Swine & Spuds in the Warner Coliseum, northeast corner


Sarah

I know I said I’m not overly down with bacon wrapped stuff (what’s the point, people?!) but I am really down with this.

I love pork belly.

I love taters (precious)

I love croquettes.

I love this.

Another one, though, where I want all the dipping sauces but I got to pick only one.


Patrick

This doesn’t look super appetizing or exciting, but if I was just going off of the description I would be interested.  I want to try all those sauces, and both the pork belly and croquettes sound delightful.  It wouldn’t be the first food item that surprised me when I had little in the way of expectations.  I’ll be open minded on this one.

Anne

LOLOLO WHAT?! They have bacon wrapped around pork belly?! This is getting a little god-danged ridiculous!  But I cannot wait to eat this.  I’ve never heard of this vendor I don’t think, but I like the cut of their jib!


Swing Dancer Sandwich

Honey smoked salmon, cucumbers, capers and cream cheese with fresh dill on pumpernickel, served with sliced lemon garnish.

At The Hideaway Speakeasy in the Veranda, Grandstand upper level, northwest section


Sarah

Eh. I don’t like sammiches in general. I don’t particularly like pumpernickel. I don’t like smoked salmon. And I’ve already discussed how I don’t like the idea of cream cheese.

But, we’ll see. Maybe the cuke will offer a nice burst of freshness.

Patrick’s probably excited. He’d die for pumpernickel.


Patrick

Damn you Swing Dancer Sandwich.  I love pumpernickel, but you’ve got some questionable stuff between your two slices.  I feel like this is like a normal sandwich you can get outside the fair, but I can’t think of if it has a name.  I’m not a huge fan of smoked salmon, and all the other stuff with it sounds like an old person’s sandwich.  If you were living with your grandparents and they packed you a bag lunch to bring to school, this is the sandwich they made you.  It came with tapioca pudding, an uncooked potato, and the business section from the Sunday paper.  I’ll try it, as I will any of the above, but I feel like this will be a one-bite and ditch food.  Maybe I’ll eat the pumpernickel.

Anne

OK- FIRST- the main page says this is the Swindler Sammich, but the pop-up says it’s the Swing Dance Sammich.  WHICH ONE IS IT, HIDEAWAY SPEAKEASY?! 

(FFF Update: there was a name change due to *ahem* swindler being a slur. Let's all try to not name our foods after ethnic slurs, people. It's not too much to ask, we think)

Also- this photo is under the Swine and Spuds.  This is all sort of messed up. Kind of like this sandwich that I DO NOT WANT.

Smoked Salmon? Nope. Capers? Nope. Dill? Nope.  Pumpernickel? Nope.  That’s 4 out of 6 nopes.


Triple Truffle Trotters

Sliced peppers and bacon with black diamond truffle oil mayo on top of waffle fries.

At The Blue Barn at West End Market, south of the History & Heritage Center


Sarah

*please don’t be pig feet*

Oh. Phew.

Aww! Stupid peppers!

Outside of the peppers, though, this sounds pretty good. I’ll pick those peppers off and probably be pretty happy with this one.

OR WILL I?


Patrick

The difference between the Blue Barn and LuLu’s is…I don’t know, they play out pretty much the same.  LuLu’s can somehow still pull me in, even though I know it won’t work out.  Blue Barn sounds good at a glance, but I’d bet money that it won’t be good when you sink your teeth in.  They always put out two new foods, and they always are mediocre at best.  I look at this and I say, “Well, this has to be good right?  What’s not to like?”  The food.  The food is what’s not to like.  Boo on you Blue Barn.  I have zero faith in you.  I wonder if they put out more than one item again this year…


Anne

Just when I thought the Blue Barn wasn’t making a showing this year, here it is. Like a typical Blue Barn showing, it’s a bunch of foody/fancy ingredients combined together into something that looks pretty great but will probably cost an arm and a leg and be disappointing. I like waffle fries, but maybe we can get this without the crotch peppers?

I do like the alliteration of the name.


Wild Bill’s Breakfast Bake

Scrambled eggs, roasted chicken and chorizo sausage baked and topped with salsa and a mix of lettuce, pickled red onions and cilantro.

At The Blue Barn at West End Market, south of the History & Heritage Center


Sarah

Ugh. Boo on a lot of this.

Things in this that I don’t like:

Chorizo

Maybe salsa (it depends)

Pickled red onion

Cilantro.

Which is too bad because I like the roasted chicken bit, which we never get at the state fair.

It’s always pork, beef, turkey, or maple syrup.


Patrick

God dammit.  Called it (I cheated, I read the list ahead of time before critiquing).  Look it’s another breakfast bowl thing.  I swear each year they have some new variation of a breakfast pile.  Take some eggs, some meat, and top it with some sauces and some veggies and boom, we sure can cook some crap.  Honestly, if this was at some other vendor, I might be like, “Hey, that sounds like it could be a real hit.”  That’s how little faith I have in the Blue Barn.  How can someone make something so creative and make it look appetizingly sound, and have it come out as a bland and boring pile.  Ask The Blue Barn.

Anne

Fuck you, Blue Barn.

Cilantro is awful and so is chorizo and anything on scrambled eggs.


Annnnnd we've done it! The overview is complete! Now the only thing left to do is wait for the days to tick by until we can taste all these delicious and terrible foods. What will be the surprise takeway this year? Which food will devastate and disappoint? Only time will tell!

Also, Sarah, Anne, and Patrick now all have Instagrams where we will be live posting our tastings.

If you'd like in the moment updates about what's good and what's barfinade, please feel free to follow us at:

Sarah_Ahiers

AnneAhiers

Patrick_Ahiers