2018 Final Thoughts

Well, Well, Well.

2018- you turned out to be preeetttty dang great.  After the disaster that was 2017 we weren't sure what to think. 2017 was so awful that it left a resounding despair going into the State Fair this year, so thank God 2018 delivered or our MNSF faith might've started to wane.

In fact, 8 foods made the A list, and we didn't have a single food receive an F.  That's a pretty banner year!


via GIPHY

Here are our day-of thoughts of the new foods (and some new to us foods).


BEST OF THE BEST- GRADE A FOODS

Earth Wings- $7 at French Meadow Bakery
A for food, F for service. Had to wait 45 minutes for these and their organization was a hot mess. Other than that, these were great! Crispy, tangy sauce, real satisfying. Just make sure the line isn't out to next week.

French Toast Bites- $5 from Blue Barn
Not new, but new to us. What a great breakfast! The mouthfeel is like bread pudding and fantastic. The berry sauce is sweet without being overpowering, and the pop rocks add an auditory element without ruining the food.

Messy Giuseppe- $7.75 at Mancini's al Fresco
So meaty. The bread was so soft. Even Sarah, who doesn't like red sauce, liked this. Afterwards, we learned to ask for it on their garlic bread and extra messy, so that's something to look forward to next year!

Pepperoni Chips with Roasted Red Pepper Queso- $7 at Lulu's Public House
Yeah, these were great. Just great. Crispy and delicious pepperoni and the queso was fantastic.

Rainbow Cloud Roll (chocolate flavor)- $8 at Rainbow Cloud
Bahahahahah! This thing is fucking ridiculous and yet so great. The chocolate helps offset the fruity pebbles (which leave a good taste in your mouth). The cotton candy, by some amazing feat, does not dissolve. It's just-just perfect.

Swedish Meatball Smorgas- $8.95 at The Blue Barn
The Blue Barn stepped it up this year! So flavorful and good. The bun was so soft. A bit pricey but not too bad. Loved this.

Sweet Greeks- $5 at Dino's Gyros
So sweet but the insides are smooth and not sweet so it balances nicely.

The Gizmo- $9 at Carl's Gizmo Sandwich
This isn't new, but we don't know if we've ever posted about it before. Fun Fact: this is one of MN Chef Andrew Zimmer's favorite things at the fair. It is awesome! Ground Beef and Italian Sausage, red sauce, on a toasted Italian roll with melted mozzarella on top. So meaty and good. Pure comfort food.

PRETTY DURN GOOD- GRADE B FOODS

Bacon Stuffed Tots- $8.95 at Blue Barn
This was an unofficial new food. Dang Blue Barn- you really showed up this year. This is really more of a croquette but super tasty and left a great taste in your mouth.

Honey Cream Soda Float- $9 at Minnesota Honey Producers
A little strange at first, but got better the more we ate and after we mixed it up. Good sweet flavors and soda fizz.

Shrimp Ceviche- $7 at Shrimp Shack
Just regular, good ceviche, though a little pricey. Refreshing on a hot day.

Slider Flight $10 at The Hangar
We got the pulled pork (because they didn't have brisket *angry face*). Really tasty. Good amount for the price. Our favorite was the one with the crispy onion straws.

Smoked Soft Serve (coffee flavor)- $7 at Blue Moon Dine In Theater
Didn't really taste the smoke, but hey- it was really smooth and tasty coffee ice cream.

S'mores Nordic Waffle- $8 at Nordic Waffles
Sweet and good flavor. Wish the waffle was crispier but excited to try the other flavors.
(spoiler- we tried breakfast the next day and it was EXCELLENT! bfast got an A).

Wood Fire Elote- $5 at Tejas Express
Anne, who likes elote, gave it a B even though it was quite spicy. Sarah and Packie (who hate elote on principal even though they've never tried it) hated it and gave it a D. So you decide i guess.

Za Waffle Sticks- $5 at Green Mill
Bizarre but good...? It was actually hard to grade this one because we weren't sure if we liked it, but also couldn't stop eating it. Tried the pepperoni maple syrup but wished we had marinara instead.

Zesty PB&J Sausage- $6 from the Gass Station
Sweet and a bit spicy. The casing was nice and snappy. Good bun. Good sausage.

OK, NOT GREAT- GRADE C FOODS

Ahi Tuna Poke Bowl- $9.50 from Cafe Caribe
Good sauce and flavors, wish the tuna was in smaller pieces, good wontons. Would definitely get poke after trying this.

Banana Foster French Toast- $9.25 at Hamline Church Dining Hall
It was fine, no bid deal. Bananas weren't ripened enough, caramel sauce was good.

BBQ Split-$12 from Mama D's
The BBQ was excellent but the mac was mediocre and the slaw tasted strongly of parsley. Would try their pulled pork sandwiches.

Firecracker Shrimp Stuffed Avocado- $14 at the Hideaway Speakeasy
Might have given this a B if not for the exorbitant price. Fresh, decent flavor, and good crackers.

General Tso's Chicken Taco- $12 from Tacocat
Chicken was nice and crispy but there was pretty much no sauce. Also super expensive.

Irish Tater Kegs- $8 from O'Gara's
Not bad. Texture was great and we finished it. We're just not that big Reuben fans (if you are, you'd probably like it more than we did).

Pizza Dough Balls- $7 at Tino's
This non-featured new food item was all right. Balls of fried pizza dough with red sauce and lots of mozzarella cheese. Sauce was ok but a bit too tangy, and the cheese wasn't melted.

Sweet Corn Corndog- $6 ($3 with coup) at some place that Sarah forgot to record
This was new to us but apparently it was the go-to thing to try this year. The batter was nicely sweet- could really taste the corn. But there was too much of it and the hot dog was tough and overcooked. Fix these problems and it would be great.

Sweetie Cakes- $7 at Sweetie Cakes
We got the peanut butter and chocolate one. A little over-sweet, and not much of a peanut butter flavor. Toffee bits were great.

Turducken Sausage Sandwich- $7 from Giggle's Campfire Grill
Sausage was fine, fennel bun was pretty darn good. Packie liked the relish a lot but others did not.

Up North Puff Pastry- $8 at Sausage Sisters & Me
Puff pastry was good, filling was not bad but wish there was more of it.

NO THANK YOU- GRADE D FOODS

Blueberry Rhubarb Cobbler- $8 from Farmer's Union
The cornmeal biscuit was really a small puck, and the tartness of the fruit overwhelms everything.

Mangonado Shave Ice- $6 at Minesnowii Shave Ice
Nope nope nope. The only reason it's not an F is because the inside mango was nummy. But the outside spice was so potent in a spicy sour way that there's no recovering. See authentic video reaction for proof.

Moroccan Sausage Bowl- $7 at Sausage by Cynthia
To be fair, Packie gave this a C. Not very flavorful- mostly tasted spicy.

Triple Chocolate Strawberry Shortcake- $6 from the Strawberry Patch
We just weren't fans. Strawberry sauce was really watery and it was just boring. Regretted getting it.

Wood Fire Elote- $5 at Tejas Express
Anne, who likes elote, gave it a B even though it was quite spicy. Sarah and Packie (who hate elote on principal even though they've never tried it) hated it and gave it a D. So you decide i guess.

THIS WAS A MISTAKE- GRADE F FOODS
No fails this year- how did that happen?

2018 MN State Fair New Foods Preview Part 5

We did it! We're on the last day, the final 6 new foods.

Just think, once you're done reading through this post, you're one step closer to ACTUALLY ATTENDING THE STATE FAIR!

You can find the earlier posts here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Triple Chocolate Strawberry Shortcake

Dense chocolate cake with chocolate chips and fudge icing smothered with strawberries and whipped cream.

At the Strawberry Patch

Sarah

So add another food to the list that I was excited about and then saw the vendor. Last time the Strawberry Patch had a featured new food it was not good, so I am very cautious about this one. They haven’t burned me enough to be angry about it, yet, but I’m definitely wary. Outside of that, though, this looks pretty good. Except for the chocolate chips. Chocolate chips are a bastard food. People stick them on anything for “reasons” and think it improves the dish but they are wrong. Chocolate chips are only good when they’re melted in something, so like a hot cookie or brownie. But just thrown on something? Fuck no.

And probably this will be cold because it seems the strawberry patch only serves cold strawberries so that will make them even more objectionable.

Shit. The more I think about this the more angry I get.

This is butts. BAD butts, this time. Did you know that butts can be bad and good? Well they can.

Anne

First, I see they understand the difference between whipped cream and whipping cream, so they’ve apparently already got a leg up.

But honestly, this sounds ok. I am not overly fond of relying on chocolate chips to ‘add’ more chocolate, and chocolate and strawberry is just an ok combo to me. Is the strawberry Patch the place that we had that crappy donut strawberry sammich 2 years ago?

Holy shit y’all, it is. I thought for sure they would’ve been banned for life from the new foods list as they RAN OUT of the Strawberry Donut Delight 2 years ago! And when we finally got it it only ranked a D. Last time the strawberries were frozen and the whipped cream was from a can.

I guess we’ll see if they’ve stepped up their game, but I HIGHLY doubt it.

Patrick

This really reminds me of the strawberry donut delight that the Strawberry Patch made as a new food item two years ago. This looks as equally underwhelming. I don’t really like mixing chocolate and strawberries on my best days, but this just looks and sounds boring and unappetizing. It looks like a hockey puck surrounded by strawberries mashed with someone’s fists. I just feel like this place has no creativity. Two years ago, they said let’s throw mashed strawberries on a glazed donut, brilliant! Now they’re saying, let’s throw mashed strawberries onto a dense (who wants dense cake?) chocolate cake, revolutionary! Next year they’ll be exploring really wild territory by mixing strawberries and cream, oooooh.

Turduken Sausage Sandwich

A blend of turkey, duck and chicken served on a fennel bun and accompanied by a side of Giggles’ sweet and saucy relish. Gluten-free; no nitrates added.

At Giggle's Campfire Grill

Sarah

Huh. Okay, so normally Giggles is our absolute favorite place at the fair. Except last year their new food was a rare dud. And they got rid of the chicken fried bacon which broke our collective hearts.

So I still love Giggles. But I’m a little shy, now. Mostly, I think, because I’m not sure about this. It pretty much just looks like a sausage in a bun. Yes it’s a turducken sausage, but, also, that’s just a regular sausage, with turkey, duck, and chicken. That’s how the sausage gets made, Aaron Burr. You just grind up a bunch of meat, fat, and herbs and spices and stick them in some casings. Done.

I worry that this might be dry, because fowl sausage typically is drier than, say, pork. But maybe the duck fat will be enough to offset the chicken and turkey? I mean, logically that should work. Fun fact about the three of us: we make our own sausages, so we can be harsh judges of it (I’m looking at you, Fresh Thyme, with your terrible sausages.)

Also, there’s nothing served with it, other than the relish, which I am underwhelmed by, so this sausage just better be one of the best, to be able to stand on its own, like that. Also, there are a lot of great sausage places already at the fair, so they’re going up against some tough competitions.

So we’ll see. I love you, Giggles, and I hope this blows me away.

Anne

So I’ve always wanted to try a turducken, but putting it into a sausage seems…disingenuous? LOTS sausages are a mix of meats to help temper the fat levels and make sure it’s not too dry. So I don’t think this really counts as turducken- it’s just sausage.

Also...does...does this ACTUALLY count as a sandwich...?

Wikipedia says it needs to be meat/veggies/cheese between slices of bread, which means this doesn't count. To be sure, I double checked with my friend Stacy who is descended from the Earl of Sandwich (100% truthful here), so she counts as a sandwich expert in my mind. Her response: Sandwiches are square. Buns are round or tubular, so no it doesn't count as a sandwich.

There you have it folks!

Giggles’ is almost 100% great (RIP 2017) so I’m fairly confident that this will be quite tasty. I was just hoping for something more exciting from them. Also BRING BACK THE CHICKEN FRIED BACON!

Patrick

Giggles is always a delicious staple at the fair. You gotta go there for their crazy (yup) awesome crab cakes, and pretty much almost anything on their menu is great. Last year they had a rare swing and miss with their duck fat wontons, and it was doubly a sad blow to find out they had ceased making chicken-fried bacon (sob!). I feel like this year they kept it simple, which is maybe a good rebound idea, but still lured me in with the clever idea of turning a turducken into a sausage. I’ve secretly always wanted to try a real turducken, so this is a real dream come true opportunity. I even like the looks of that sweet and saucy relish. I’m hoping to fall in love all over again with Giggles, and hope this is the bouquet of flowers to make up for the hurt caused last year. We’ll get through this Giggles…just keep shoving your delicious foods in my mouth. That sounded kind of sexual…maybe it was. Maybe it was.

Up North Puff Pastry

Porketta sausage, cheese curds, coarse grain mustard and chopped dill pickle baked in a puffy crust sprinkled with pepper and sea salt.

At Sausage Sister and Me

Sarah

Yeah okay. This sounds like it could be great! The picture, though, looks a little underwhelming so I’m trying not to look at that and instead read the description because that’s where it really seems to shine.

I hope this is good. Little things you eat with your hands, like pies, or pockets, or pasties, are kind of the best, so I’m already predisposed to like this so as long as they don’t fuck it up, we’ll be aces.

Anne

Sausage Sister! You’re back! (not that they went anywhere- they’ve been in the new foods all along. They just sort of missed the mark the last year or two).

I chortled when I saw that they stuffed cheese curds into this. OF COURSE YOU DID! That’s how you add cheese at the freaking MNSF. Can’t wait to taste this.

Patrick

Why hello there Sausage Sisters. I’m always excited to see what you bring to the table each year. It’s not always great, but I like that you try, and stay true to your roots. I like the sound of this new attempt, yes I do. Sausage, cheese curds, coarse grain mustard, and pickles in a puff pastry crust? How can that not be good? I guess we’ll find out come time that I shove you in my craw. Here’s hoping you found a winner this year. If not, I can always go back for those baller meat balls.

Wood Grilled Elote

Corn on-the-cob grilled over an oak wood fire, brushed with chile-spiced mayo and sprinkled with queso Cotija & fresh lime juice.

At Tejas Express

Sarah

No. OHHHHH NOOOOOOOO. PACKIE. PACKIE WE ARE IN TROUBLE.

Anne has been trying to get Packie and me to try elote for years now. And we’ve always said “NO. NO WE WILL NOT DO THAT.” I mean, for me it makes more sense because, as previously stated a lot, Sarah doesn’t like Mexican food. Packie does, though, so who knows why he won’t try it.

Oh wait, it’s the mayo.

I just…I don’t want stuff on my corn on the cob.

But my objections have finally reached an impasse. Much like other things this year, the fair has spoken, and so in a few short weeks I will finally be trying elote for the first (and most likely last) time.

You got me, fair. You got me good.

Anne

YES! OMFG YES! Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get Sarah and Packie to eat freaking Elote?! (In their defense, they’ve tasted it once but it was a sub-par example). NOW THEY FREAKING HAVE TO EAT IT AND WILL RECOGNIZE HOW DELICIOUS IT ACTUALLY IS!

Dear god, DO NOT let me down Tejas Express. YOU BETTER FREAKING DELIVER! Looking forward to eating this and reveling in Sarah and Packie’s sweet, sweet irritation followed by their grudging respect when they discover how delicious it is.

Patrick

Ah hell crap damnit poop ass banana skunk. Elote is something I heard described of once as a corn on-the-cob covered in mayo and cheese, and I thought to myself: “that sounds like some disgusting crap, and I feel no desire whatsoever to try that.” People tell me, “no, it’s actually really good, you should just try it.” I laughed and responded, “Shut up Anne! You shut your dumb mouth. You’re spitting corn, mayo and cheese and making God cry with that nonsense, so keep your mouth shut while you eat that heathen cob.” Even my friend, who hates mayo (haaaates it), eats this shit! That’s like me saying, “hey, I’d never eat worms, but throw them on a cob and sprinkle with cheese, and you got a real seller there, champ.” NO, that doesn’t make sense, and neither does this stupid Elote! Well, you finally win Anne. I finally HAVE to try Elote as per our “try everything new” at the fair oath. Even if I find out by some miracle that I like this, I’m going to begrudgingly admit it with all the scorn and disdain I have for this monstrosity.

Za-Waffle Sticks

Waffles blended with pepperoni and mozzarella, topped with a parmesan herb blend and served with pepperoni-infused maple syrup or marinara sauce.

At Green Mill

Sarah

The last few years Green Mill has put out some of our favorite foods. I mean, they’re always just riffs off pizza, natch, but they’re always so frickin good! And look at this little fucker! These look great and I expect they will be!

Also, pepperoni-infused maple syrup? That sounds fucking absolutely bonkers and I cannot wait to try it.

So many good butts, here.

Anne

God Damn, Green Mill you absolute fucking delight. Green Mill is consistently an A vendor with crazy, delightful and delicious pizza offerings every year, and this year appears to be no exception. PEPPERONI INFUSED MAPLE SYRUP?! GTFO (right into ma mouf).

Patrick

Tee-hee, oh Green Mill. How do you do it? Every year you find some new and clever way to Italian-ize some food item and make it amazing. Pizza waffles? This looks great, and I’m always so wonderfully surprised by how amazing a job Green Mill does every year at putting out something fun and new. Does pepperoni-infused maple syrup sound like something I want on my pizza waffle? Hell no, but I’m gonna do it, and it’ll be great! I’ll eat it all, shake my head and smile up at that Green Mill truck. “Oh Green Mill, you clever scamp. Don’t ever change.”

Zesty PB&J Sausage

Peanut butter, cherry jelly and a hint of cayenne pepper and cilantro blended into a quarter-pound sausage.

At Gass Station Grill

Sarah

Lots of sausages on the list this year, but this one is kind of zany and wacky in a good way so I’m excited to try it. Like Giggles, this sausage is served plain, but unlike Giggles, this sausage itself looks like it’s supposed to carry it’s own weight (heh, literally since it’s gonna be hefty) so I’m excited to see how much of the peanut butter and jelly flavor comes through. I hope a fair amount. I will be disappoint if I can’t taste the peanut butter.

Also, though, cherry jelly? What the actual fuck? Is that even a real jelly? Listen, everyone knows grape jelly is how you make pb&js. Then if you aren’t going to do that, you do raspberry, or maybe strawberry. Cherry, though? What is this, Michigan? No. It’s Minnesota. Calm down.   

Anne

Hahah, what?! Peanut Butter Sausage? You crazy Gass Station Grill.

I am really not sure what to expect, but I hope the PB&J really shine through in this- if this is just a normal sausage with a hint of those flavors I am gonna be disappoint. GO BIG OR GO HOME.

Patrick

Oooh what? Gross! No, hell no! Where the hell did this theme come from where you shove everything imaginable into a sausage and think it’s a good idea? Why would I want these two things tossed in with meat? Peanut butter with meat is strange enough, but I’ve accepted by some strange food sorcery, that it can actually be pretty great. I’ll admit, again to much perplexion, that something like lingonberry jam somehow goes great with Swedish meatballs and gravy. Together though? Stuffed inside a sausage skin with sausage meat? This is a failure waiting to happen. What’s your first gut reaction to hearing “Peanut Butter and Jelly Sausage”? It’s gross! Go with that reaction.

And that’s it! The next step will be actually eating the foods and judging them accordingly. If you want to follow along live, check out our Instagrams at:

Sarah_Ahiers

AnneAhiers

Patrick_Ahiers

2018 MN State Fair New Foods Preview Part 4

We're on the down slope now, everyone! But because 27 doesn't divide equally into 5 (don't bother, I tried), we have 6 new foods to review today and tomorrow.

You can find part 1, part 2, and part 3 at the links.

Take a deep breath- we're almost on the other side of this.

Shrimp Ceviche

Fresh shrimp, cucumbers, jalapeños, onions, tomatoes and cilantro tossed with a citrus lime juice and served cold with tortilla chips.

At the Shrimp Shack

Sarah

Okay, fine. I mean, this isn’t anything special. We know my feelings about fair foods that I can just get, like, anywhere, but this could be fresh and cool and refreshing on a hot summer day so I hope it’s good. I’m a bit worried about the jalapenos but hopefully I can push them aside a bit. I don’t know. I don’t have much to say about a fair food that doesn’t have much to say.

Anne

Ok Ok, I lurve me some ceviche and I lurve me some skrimps. So I am excited to taste this. I’m not sure this feels special enough for the MNSF, but also I bet it’s gonna be a nice thing to eat on those hella hot days.

Have we had food from the Shrimp Shack before? They weren’t on the new food list last year. I wonder what other types of delicious skrimp offerings they have.

Patrick

Not sure I’ve ever eaten at this locale, but I think they can lure me in with some sweet shrimp ceviche.  I love a good shrimp ceviche, and this looks real nice with its tortilla chips for dipping.  So long as they keep it simple and good, I think this could be pretty great.  Crossing my fingers on this one.

Slider Flights

Flights of three slider sandwiches, each with a variety of toppings, available in three varieties: Brisket Flight (one slider topped with coleslaw, one with pickles and onions, and one with crispy fried onions); Burger Flight (one slider topped with thick-cut candied bacon and cheddar cheese, one with smoked gouda, and one with BBQ sauce, pepper jack cheese and crispy fried onions); Pulled Pork Flight (one slider topped with coleslaw, one with pickles and onions, and one with crispy fried onions)

At The Hangar

Sarah

Now we’re  talking!! Flights of things are always fun. Even flights of things I normally don’t like are fun. And I DO like sliders so therefore I am excited for this! The only issue is how will we pick which flight we want to try?? I’m leaning a bit toward the burger flight, but come on! A brisket flight? And pulled pork? WHYYYYYYY must we choose?? It would be the MOST BEST if we could just pick from all nine and make a flight of three from those, but life isn’t that fair at the fair.

Anne

Can I…Can I get one of each for our flight?

I love that they’ve made Flight into a food thing instead of just a beverage thing. This looks good- I like sliders, burgers, brisket, and pulled pork. If I can’t get one of each I don’t know how I’m going to decide.

Also- again, this seems to be missing the ol’ razzle dazzle. I’m sure it will be tasty (of course I could be proved wrong), but I don’t think it will be special.

Patrick

Hello The Hangar, welcome to the fair! 

Who doesn’t like a good slider?  A flight of sliders you say?  Even better.  So long as they’re not too expensive.  Nothing is worse than paying for a full-size burger and getting a slider instead.  That said, it looks like you get to choose between 1 of 3 meats to make up your three sliders?  Brisket, Burger, or Pulled Pork?  Can you mix and match, or do you just pick one meat for all three and get the different toppings.  The toppings for the brisket and pork are the same, which I suppose is fine since they’re both BBQ.  It’ll be hard to decide what to pick here.  Hopefully they put a lot of love into these, because sliders do really seem done to death.

Smoked Soft Serve Ice Cream

Cold-smoked cream available in two flavors, all made on-site: Cold Brew Coffee infused with cold-smoked Arabica beans and topped with chocolate espresso dust, a toasted marshmallow and a chocolate cookie on the side; Muscovado Sugar Vanilla combines vanilla bean and cold-smoked molasses-rich cane sugar served with a toasted marshmallow and bacon candy round on the side. Optional sauces available: bourbon-soaked cherries or hot chocolate

At Blue Moon Dine-in Theater

Sarah

SHUT UP. WHAT IS THIS AND WHY IS IT NOT IN MY MOUTH RIGHT NOW?? Omg. OMG. THIS LOOKS SO GOOD I CANNOT WAIT TO EAT THIS.

I’m for sure going to push for the coffee flavored one. Because even though I don’t like coffee, I do love coffee ice cream. Also that’s the one in the pic and it looks hella good.

CHALK THIS UP AS ANOTHER GOOD BUTTS.

Do you think the ice cream has a smoky flavor? Also, this is Blue Moon, and they had a reputation of making really weird things that end up being fucking awesome so I firmly believe that this one will knock it out of the park!

Anne

This- yes, gimme. Blue Moon is typically an A-level establishment because they marry the tasty with the crazy, and this ice cream appears to be checking those boxes.

If you’re wondering, Muscovado sugar is a brown sugar with a high molasses content (darker even than dark brown sugar) and is considered by some to be ‘healthier’.

I want to taste both of these flavors.

HOW WILL WE CHOOSE BETWEEN THE OPTIONAL SAUCES?!

Patrick

Oh Blue Moon Dine-in Theater, you are like the gastronomy wunderkind of the fair.  The things you come up with, especially in the dessert department.  Even if it doesn’t work out, I’m always charmed by your clever efforts.  Both of the options here sound amazing, and I am crazy (there’s that word again) excited to try my first cold-smoked cream.  How dat even work?  Who cares, you did it, and I want to spoon it into my mouth.  Me, excited for ice cream?  Will wonders never cease?

Swedish Meatball Smörgås

Meatball sandwich with three traditional Swedish pork and beef meatballs topped with white gravy, lingonberry sauce and dill pickles.

At the Blue Barn

Sarah

Holy shit I’m irritated that I needed to figure out how to add the accents to Smörgås. And it turns out I’m actually irritated by a lot about this.

On the surface this seems like it might be fine. But then you look closer and realize it’s from the dumb ol’ Blue Barn. Which means it will cost a shit ton, and be underwhelming at best, really bad at worst.

Which is too bad, because Swedish meatballs are good, and so this idea is a good one and could be good! But it won’t be.

Anne

Well this looks tasty af, which means that somehow Blue Barn will manage to fuck it up, because that’s what they do. I’m not sure I have EVER enjoyed one single damn thing at Blue Barn, despite how tasty they look.

Also, Blue Barn- you change your food types every year- last year was Mexican Breakfast and now you’re Swedish? Maybe if you stuck to one thing you could actually learn to be good at it.

Patrick

Hahahah, Blue Barn you stupid crap face ass hat.  You could put out a simple burger with cheese, and I’d crap all over it with my review.  Because you can’t do anything right.  You keep trying, and you keep the same model for failure, hoping that maybe someone will love you, but no one will!  At least the Fair finally decided that letting you fail twice every year was just too much embarrassment for one restaurant, and cut you down to one new item.  Honestly, if some other place made this exact same thing, I might think this looks worth trying.  This is Blue Barn we’re talking about, though.  No matter how intriguing something looks, they always screw it up and it is always bad.  ALWAYS.  I have NEVER enjoyed something at Blue Barn.  I hate it!  HATE IT!  I wish The Hideaway Speakeasy would go away, just so I could reserve all of my hate reserves for you.

Sweet Greek  Cheese Puffs

Flaky phyllo dough filled with feta and ricotta cheese, deep-fried, drizzled with honey and topped with powdered sugar.

At Dino's Gyros

Sarah

Okay this looks good! And Dino’s is a pretty good bet so I think it WILL be good. But, I also think that I will take one bite of this and be like, “ooh this is super good. But I’m done.”

It just seems like something that will be really rich which is especially rough when it’s hot outside.

Anne 

This is like a sweet cheese wonton! Hot damn this sounds fun! Last year Dino’s delivered with the Loukamades, so looks like they’re attempting a repeat with another sweet pastry. Sign me up, Dino’s! I see you.

Patrick

Dino’s tried their hand at a new food item last year for the first time ever, and it seems they’re taking that momentum and keeping it going.  I’m on the fence with this one.  Not sure how honey compliments ricotta and feta, but maybe it will be really good.  Pack it inside some deep-fried phyllo dough and it sounds like it could be a winning dessert.  Maybe a bit too rich, but we’ll see.

Sweetie Cakes

Choice of black forest cake, birthday cake or chocolate peanut butter cake, baked in a cup packed with Sassy Pecan toffee bits and served warm, topped with real whipping cream and more toffee bits.

At Sweetie Cakes

Sarah

Ooh yes! YES I WANT THIS. Pecan toffee bits? Warm cake? Whipped cream? ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE THINGS I LIKE.

I wish I had this right now. Yes it’s only 9:30 am when I’m writing this, but these seem like they’d be a good breakfast food, right? DON’T RUIN THIS FOR ME INTERNET AUDIENCE.

Anne

First off, wtf are Sassy Pecan toffee bits? I mean, they have to be something specific or special right? Because they capitalized it.  Also- I assume you meant you topped it with whipped cream and not whipping cream, because one of those is a straight up liquid and your photos show otherwise.

All of that criticism aside, this sounds tasty. I am not 100% sold on the flavor combos- toffee and pecans are awesome, but do they go with Black Forest? Or PB and Chocolate? I’m not sure.

Patrick

You had me at toffee bits.  I generally like cake as far as dessert options go, and regardless of which variety of cake I choose, the sassy pecan toffee bits and whipping cream on top sounds like fun treat.  As long as the cake is delicious and moist, and not a lie, we’ll be in business.

All right! Come back tomorrow for the final post!

2018 MN State Fair New Foods Preview Part 3

HUMP DAY!

We're in the middle of the list today, letters M through R (if you didn't realize they're listed alphabetically, you do now.  YOU'RE WELCOME.)

You can click here for part 1, and part 2.

Let's get to it!

Messy Giuseppe

A blend of seasoned ground beef and Italian pork sausage smothered in marinara, sprinkled with parmesan cheese and served on crusty Italian bread.

At Mancini's al Fresco

Sarah

No. I don’t want this. Besides Mexican food, Sarah doesn’t like red sauce. And I’m pissed that the State Fair is making me eat so many things that I don’t like this year.

I mean, it sounds fine. I bet Anne and Pat will like it all right. But I know I will try a bite and say “Yep. That’s marinara sauce” and then be fucking done with it.

And of course it has to be “smothered” in marinara. Why can’t it just be drizzled with it?

Anne

Yep. Gimme That. Right In Ma Mouf.

I am not sure we’ve ever eaten with this vendor before. I hope they represent.

(update- they made the Bomba Sammich last year- it was fine).

Patrick

Aaaah yeah, now this is what I’m talking about.  There is nothing I don’t like about this.  This just sounds like something delicious I want to chow down on.  I think Mancini’s has been hit or miss for food items (and usually it looks good and falls a little flat, which has me a *little* worried about making this my most excited item), but I feel like they’ve got all the right punches to make this sandwich a knockout.  I guess the bread could be soggy or stale and that would eff things up, but I hope they really pull through on this one.

Moroccan Sausage Bowl

Coarse ground beef and lamb sausage seasoned with herbs, sweet spices and a hint of red pepper, cooked with carrots, turnips and chick peas, and topped with sautéed onions and a green olive.

At Sausage by Cynthia

Sarah

Son of a bitch it took me three tries to spell Moroccan right. And yet I get Giuseppe on the first try. (okay, it was the first try on the title of the previous entry but the second try here. I’m a giant mess (and actually, spell check has just informed me that I, in fact, did not spell Giuseppe right on the first time ever, except for in this sentence, right now.))

So, I think the photo on this is a little underwhelming. Something about the colors, maybe. BUT. All that said, this looks good. I mean, get rid of those crotch peppers and then we’ve got a deal! Okay, I guess I’m also not sure about the chick peas. I think I’ll most likely end up pushing those to the side of the plate, but everything else on this sounds great! So color me excited about this one!

Anne

Not one whole green olive! How are we going to split that three ways?

Yeah this looks and sounds good. I’m not a HUGE chick pea fan, but I’m interested to try them again in a different way.

What is Sausage by Cynthia? Because we already have pretty good sausage on offer at Sausage Sisters so…

Patrick

This was aaaalmost my most excited for item.  I passed on it for that pic because of the chick peas.  Not crazy about chick peas.  Honestly though, I think I can work through that, because this looks amazing.  Love the meat and vegetables, and the green olives.  Sounds like my kind of crazy ethnic food that I love giving a try.  I seem to use crazy a lot in these reviews, like I have no middle ground for food preference.  I’m either crazy about something, or not crazy about it.  Guess I have to live to the extremes!

Nordic Waffles

Fresh-made waffle wraps in seven varieties: All-Day Breakfast (egg, bacon & cheddar); Berries & Cream (raspberry & strawberry mixture with vanilla cream); Cinna-Sugar Butter (cinnamon, sugar & butter); Slammin’ Salmon On-A-Stick (Norwegian smoked salmon with cream cheese & green onions); S’More (marshmallow crème, crumbled graham crackers & Nutella); Turkey Chipotle Club (turkey, bacon & mixed greens with Sriracha mayo sauce); and Vegetarian Viking (black bean veggie burger, cheddar cheese, mixed greens & chipotle sauce).

At Nordic Waffles

Sarah

Jesus it’s like they’re taking parenthetical lessons from me.

I get irritated when a “new food” is actually like seven new foods. Like, come on. Just pick one you want to focus on for your debut and push that as the front runner. Because now the three of us are going to have to decide which one of these we’re gonna want to try. And I bet it will come down to the All-Day Breakfast, Berries & Cream, or S’More. *Sighs for fifteen minutes*

But I think this is a clever new shop and I hope these waffles turn out great so then I’ll want to make the effort to try the other ones I’m interested in.

Anne

Ok hold on here- I don’t think it’s fair to cram 7 new foods into 1 new food offering.  Like- this is a new vendor, you don’t get to just list everything you make- IT’S ALL NEW.

But other than that I’m pretty exciterested to try these, especially the brekkie one, and the sweet ones. I don’t want fish on a stick so stay away salmon!

Patrick

Shut up, how am I going to try all of these Nordic waffles?  There are so many of them, how does one choose?  Maybe we’ll each need to get one to form a clear opinion on this new food creation.  If I had to pick three to give a go, I’d probably pick All-Day Breakfast, Cinna-Sugar Butter, and S’More, with maybe Turkey Chipotle Club waiting on the bench.  I’m pretty stoked to try these, they sound really good, and I like waffles so seeing them as a sandwich conveyance is pretty exciting.

Pepperoni Chips with Roasted Red Pepper Queso

Thinly sliced fried pepperoni chips served with a warm roasted red pepper cheese sauce.

At Lulu's Public House

Sarah

Hahaha! Lulu’s is such a HACK! Literally Packie makes Pepperoni chips as a side for dinners, sometimes. It takes him, like, what? 2 minutes to make them? YOU CAN MAKE THEM IN A MICROWAVE, GUYS. And here’s Lulu serving them up as something special. Next year on Lulu’s menu: hard boiled eggs.

Seriously. I would say these will be fine, yet nothing special, but it’s Lulu’s and they often are super overpriced for food that is not great so there’s a chance even these will be a flop.

I am a bit excited about the cheese sauce, though.

C’mon, Lulu’s. Surprise me for a change.

Anne

Ok, these are probably gonna be real good. How do I know that? BECAUSE WE MAKE THEM AT HOME!

C’mon Lulu’s, what’d you do, draw inspiration from Pinterest? At least this year they’ll probably have a pretty good new food, because I really want to like Lulu’s but they usually only put out C or maaaaybe B level food.

Patrick

Alright LuLu, if I recall correctly (and I do, I cheated and looked up last year’s reviews) you and I had a real falling out last year.  You had two chances to wow me and you kind of tripped when you were carrying them to my table and dumped them on my head.  I told you I was done wit you.  That you were in the same doghouse as Blue Barn.  You’re back again, and you look like you’re playing things cool, not trying to really stand out, and only putting out a single new item this year (which I can appreciate).  So…I’m gonna give you one last shot.  Don’t fuck it up.  

Pepperoni Chips.  I’d first like to say I can make these in a microwave at home and they are great, so you’re not really trying very hard, but maybe that’s a good thing for you.  Fried pepperoni chips are my jam, and whether you actually fried these or just nuked them like I do, it’ll be hard not to nail this.  That roasted red pepper cheese sauce you got with them?  Ok, I can dig that.  Sounds pretty good.  Just don’t you play me Lulu.  Don’t you do it, or you’ll be getting the same treatment as Blue Barf further down this list.  I believe you can change, girl.

Rainbow Cloud Roll

Three scoops of ice cream sprinkled with fruity cereal and wrapped in a pillow of cotton candy. Hand-rolled on-site. Ice cream choices include Superman, vanilla, strawberry and chocolate.

At Rainbow Ice Cream

Sarah

Holy shit look at this!!! Oh man, will this be amazing or terrible? WHO CAN SAY? THIS is the kind of fun fair foods I look forward to. The confections that are weird and strange and you know you’ll either be blown away by this magical treat or saddened that it turned out to be a devil’s trap all along.

NOT TODAY, SATAN.

This is butts. Just straight up good butts.

Will the cotton candy just melt with the ice cream? What kind of flavor will we get? (my vote will be for chocolate) Will it give us ice cream headaches? We’ll find out in a few months!

Anne

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! YAAAAAAASSSSSS! NOW WE’RE TALKING!

This looks absolutely INSANE and is exactly what I’m expecting from new MNSF foods!  WTF is Superman Ice Cream? I assume it’s the red and blue ice cream in the pic?

Fucking fantastic.

Patrick

LMAO!  What?  What is this?  This is like kid crack.  Something a kid would like go crazy over, but anyone with real developed tastes would be like “that shit gonna taste insane”, and not necessarily in a good way.  That rainbow ice cream looks fun and kooky.  It’s like the suicide soft drink of ice creams.  It sounds cool and fun, but ultimately you’re just muddying everything with too many flavors.  I don’t know, maybe like the chocolate or vanilla, or even the strawberry might look more appetizing.  I’ll jump in this ball pit of sweetness, but I feel like I’m going to get frustrated when I can’t flounder my way out of it.

Check us out tomorrow for part 4!