Grade D: A Waste of Money. Did Not Finish.
Bahn Minn Bun- $8 from Sausage Sister & Me, 2021
Had a real weird flavor to it, the slaw added nothing to the sandwich. People had troubles swallowing their bites.
Had a real weird flavor to it, the slaw added nothing to the sandwich. People had troubles swallowing their bites.
BBQ Shrimp Taco- $10 at Tejas Express, 2016
Really expensive, didn’t taste like BBQ (no sauce). Pretty spicy. Didn’t finish
Blueberry Rhubarb Cobbler- $8 from Farmer's Union, 2018
The cornmeal biscuit was really a small puck, and the tartness of the fruit overwhelms
everything.
Boozy Berry Trifle- $9 from the Hideaway Speakeasy, 2019
Really expensive, didn’t taste like BBQ (no sauce). Pretty spicy. Didn’t finish
Blueberry Rhubarb Cobbler- $8 from Farmer's Union, 2018
The cornmeal biscuit was really a small puck, and the tartness of the fruit overwhelms
everything.
Boozy Berry Trifle- $9 from the Hideaway Speakeasy, 2019
Surprising absolutely fuckin no one this tiny trifle was way overpriced. It was too tart and the
poundcake and whipped cream weren't enough to balance it. Expected.
Breakfast
Gnocchi- $11.75 at the Blue Barn, 2022
So damn disappointing. The gnocchi were chewy and dense, not like a gnocchi at all. Eggs and
pesto are OK, but the gnocchi ruins it.
So damn disappointing. The gnocchi were chewy and dense, not like a gnocchi at all. Eggs and
pesto are OK, but the gnocchi ruins it.
Butter Chicken Samosas- $6 at Taste of Midtown Global Market, 2015
We were not fans. The flavor profile was not for us. It was also quite spicy and we ended up
going through an entire water bottle as a result.
Cajun Peel and Eat Shrimp- $10 at Cafe Caribe, 2016
Not worth the money spent. Hardly tasted any Cajun seasoning, and was otherwise no different
than peel and eat shrimp we could get anywhere. Disappointing.
Deep Fried Avocado- $8 at O'Gara's, 2017
Great way to start the day! Soggy and not very flavorful. Expensive and Packie doesn't even like
avocado. At least O'Gara's is consistent so we don't get our hopes up. My phone wants
to change O'Gara's to Obamas and that would be preferable
Deep Fried Grilled Cheese Bites- $8 at O'Gara's, 2016
These were just meh (per usual from O’Gara’s). They were too close to cheese curds but not as
good
Double Dose of Pork Belly- $7 at RC's BBQ, 2017
This was disappointing. Not enough pork belly and the patty didn't taste great (weird even).
Small ass sandwich, even at seven bucks. Boo.
We were not fans. The flavor profile was not for us. It was also quite spicy and we ended up
going through an entire water bottle as a result.
Cajun Peel and Eat Shrimp- $10 at Cafe Caribe, 2016
Not worth the money spent. Hardly tasted any Cajun seasoning, and was otherwise no different
than peel and eat shrimp we could get anywhere. Disappointing.
Cocoa Cheese Bites- unknown vendor, 2013
Yeaaaaah…um, chocolate covered
cheese…did not finish. Some things don’t work well with
chocolate
Coco Nuts Bowl- $12 at Baba’s, 2022
This hovered between a C and D for us. No real chocolate flavor in the hummus at all, and
virtually no sweetness in the bowl except maybe with the bananas. Toppings were nice and so
were the pita puffs.
This hovered between a C and D for us. No real chocolate flavor in the hummus at all, and
virtually no sweetness in the bowl except maybe with the bananas. Toppings were nice and so
were the pita puffs.
Concha Bacon Burger- $12 at Aldo’s,
2022
The texture of the concha bun came off grainy or powdery and was really off-putting. Didn’t really
get any heat despite the pepper jack cheese and jalapenos, and the bacon was a bit overpowering.
The burger itself was good.
The texture of the concha bun came off grainy or powdery and was really off-putting. Didn’t really
get any heat despite the pepper jack cheese and jalapenos, and the bacon was a bit overpowering.
The burger itself was good.
Cracklin Prime Rib Tacos- $9 from Coasters, 2021
Maaaaaaaan if you’re going to make a nacho out of pork rinds, pick a better pork rind. Multiples
of us had pieces that were so hard we almost cracked a tooth on it. Too many Jalapenos which we
wouldn’t have requested if given the option. Toppings were ok, but really came down to the fact
that a large portion of the cracklins were inedible. Also really lacking in the prime rib.
Cucumber Jalapeno Limeade- $6 from the Farmer’s Union, 2021
D (some would say F). Why are beverages burny?? Wow was this spicy. Like the cuke and limeade
would’ve been so refreshing if our mouths weren’t on fire. Also So. Much. Pulp.
Deep Fried Avocado- $8 at O'Gara's, 2017
Great way to start the day! Soggy and not very flavorful. Expensive and Packie doesn't even like
avocado. At least O'Gara's is consistent so we don't get our hopes up. My phone wants
to change O'Gara's to Obamas and that would be preferable
Deep Fried Grilled Cheese Bites- $8 at O'Gara's, 2016
These were just meh (per usual from O’Gara’s). They were too close to cheese curds but not as
good
Double Dose of Pork Belly- $7 at RC's BBQ, 2017
This was disappointing. Not enough pork belly and the patty didn't taste great (weird even).
Small ass sandwich, even at seven bucks. Boo.
Esquites- $6 from Midtown Global Market (Los Ocampos), 2021
Sarah and Packie don’t like elote and this didn’t change their mind. Anne likes elote but thought
the corn needed to be sweeter, otherwise it was too sour. Why is it so hard to get good elote?
Honey Bee Lavender Mead- $9 from Lulu's (sociable cider werks), 2019
Flavor was like a C but the price on this little bitch dropped it into D territory. We'll stick with
Jaybird mead.
Lavender Lemonade- $6 at Farmer's Union Coffee Shop, 2019
The only reason we drank half of it was because we were thirsty. Too tart to be thirst quenching. At
least it was pretty.
Mangonado Shave Ice- $6 at Minesnowii Shave Ice, 2018
Nope nope nope. The only reason it's not an F is because the inside mango was nummy. But the
outside spice was so potent in a spicy sour way that there's no recovering. See authentic video
reaction for proof.
Mobster's Caviar- $11 at The Hideaway Speakeasy, 2017
Kids cover your ears. Fuck this. Fuck the price. Fuck having to walk up to the top of the
Grandstand to drop a mint on 3 shitty items at this place. I'm literally building a rage lather about
this. The bread was old and stale. The caviar was fishy tasting and gross. Never again.
Moroccan Sausage Bowl- $7 at Sausage by Cynthia, 2018
To be fair, Packie gave this a C. Not very flavorful- mostly tasted spicy.
Paneer on a Speer- $5 at Taste of Midtown Global Market, 2016
We all agreed this was way too small for the cost, though the taste might’ve been a C. Packie
liked it better than the twins, but it wasn’t great by any stretch
Rustic Beef Pastry- $6 at French Meadow Bakery, 2016
Did not care for the spices. Also, minimal feta
Spicy Thai Noodles- $10 at Oodles of Noodles, 2017
Much too spicy, even for Patrick. So spicy we couldn't even taste the flavors. Which is too bad
because it smelled really good and Oods of Noods is a good bet
Strawberries and Cream- $7 for a small at Strawberries and Cream, 2019
Unsurprisingly this is exactly what we expected- something we could easily make at home, but
more expensive. Cream was good but berries were too underripe. The best thing about this is the
photobomb (see IG pic).
Nope nope nope. The only reason it's not an F is because the inside mango was nummy. But the
outside spice was so potent in a spicy sour way that there's no recovering. See authentic video
reaction for proof.
Mobster's Caviar- $11 at The Hideaway Speakeasy, 2017
Kids cover your ears. Fuck this. Fuck the price. Fuck having to walk up to the top of the
Grandstand to drop a mint on 3 shitty items at this place. I'm literally building a rage lather about
this. The bread was old and stale. The caviar was fishy tasting and gross. Never again.
Moroccan Sausage Bowl- $7 at Sausage by Cynthia, 2018
To be fair, Packie gave this a C. Not very flavorful- mostly tasted spicy.
Paneer on a Speer- $5 at Taste of Midtown Global Market, 2016
We all agreed this was way too small for the cost, though the taste might’ve been a C. Packie
liked it better than the twins, but it wasn’t great by any stretch
Rustic Beef Pastry- $6 at French Meadow Bakery, 2016
Did not care for the spices. Also, minimal feta
Soulsicle- $9 from Soul Bowl, 2022
Listen. Some things are OK under a heat lamp. Toppings and sauces are not those things. Like
leave the chicken in the heat lamp and then top to order? The breading was soggy as a result. Also
flavors were not great- very hot sauce forward. Really wanted to like this, pretty disappointed.
Listen. Some things are OK under a heat lamp. Toppings and sauces are not those things. Like
leave the chicken in the heat lamp and then top to order? The breading was soggy as a result. Also
flavors were not great- very hot sauce forward. Really wanted to like this, pretty disappointed.
Spicy Thai Noodles- $10 at Oodles of Noodles, 2017
Much too spicy, even for Patrick. So spicy we couldn't even taste the flavors. Which is too bad
because it smelled really good and Oods of Noods is a good bet
Strawberries and Cream- $7 for a small at Strawberries and Cream, 2019
Unsurprisingly this is exactly what we expected- something we could easily make at home, but
more expensive. Cream was good but berries were too underripe. The best thing about this is the
photobomb (see IG pic).
Steakxorcist- $14 at Herbivorous Butcher, 2022
Okay. Listen. It eats like meat. And at first we were like, yeah! This is good! But then this
unidentifiable flavor took over and, well, we did NOT enjoy the flavor at all.
Okay. Listen. It eats like meat. And at first we were like, yeah! This is good! But then this
unidentifiable flavor took over and, well, we did NOT enjoy the flavor at all.
Sweety's Churros- $5 at Potato Man and Sweety, 2017
Sarah wanted to give it an F but was out voted.
It was like biting into a stick. Not soft and light at all. Dense and stale and almost impossible to
chew. Flavors weren't horrible.
Swing Dancer Sandwich- $12 at The Hideaway Speakeasy, 2017
Why the fuck did I spend 12 dollars on this? I have had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
thicker than this. The sandwich was ok, if we are being generous. Fresh taste and soft bread but
not a big fan of smoked salmon.
Tikka on a Sticka- $6 at Taste of Midtown Global Market, 2015
Sarah wanted to give it an F but was out voted.
It was like biting into a stick. Not soft and light at all. Dense and stale and almost impossible to
chew. Flavors weren't horrible.
Swing Dancer Sandwich- $12 at The Hideaway Speakeasy, 2017
Why the fuck did I spend 12 dollars on this? I have had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
thicker than this. The sandwich was ok, if we are being generous. Fresh taste and soft bread but
not a big fan of smoked salmon.
Tikka on a Sticka- $6 at Taste of Midtown Global Market, 2015
Overcooked so the chicken was tough. And had pretty much no
flavor. A guy next to us also got
it and he agreed with our assessment. Also,
it fell on Sarah’s shirt and made her look like a slob
Triple Chocolate Strawberry Shortcake- $6 from the Strawberry Patch, 2018
We just weren't fans. Strawberry sauce was really watery and it was just boring. Regretted
getting it.
Turkish Pizza- $9 from Blue Moon Diner, 2019
Triple Chocolate Strawberry Shortcake- $6 from the Strawberry Patch, 2018
We just weren't fans. Strawberry sauce was really watery and it was just boring. Regretted
getting it.
Turkish Pizza- $9 from Blue Moon Diner, 2019
We wanted to love this. We didn't. All heat and no real flavor. Also wished the bread was crispier.
We sad.
We sad.
Up North Shoreman's Lunch- $9.75 at Blue Barn, 2015
Fish was over breaded and the sauces don’t work together
Wood Fire Elote- $5 at Tejas Express, 2018
Anne, who likes elote, gave it a B even though it was quite spicy. Sarah and Packie (who hate
elote on principal even though they've never tried it) hated it and gave it a D. So you decide i
guess.
Wood Fire Elote- $5 at Tejas Express, 2018
Anne, who likes elote, gave it a B even though it was quite spicy. Sarah and Packie (who hate
elote on principal even though they've never tried it) hated it and gave it a D. So you decide i
guess.
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