2018 MN State Fair New Foods Preview Part 5

We did it! We're on the last day, the final 6 new foods.

Just think, once you're done reading through this post, you're one step closer to ACTUALLY ATTENDING THE STATE FAIR!

You can find the earlier posts here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Triple Chocolate Strawberry Shortcake

Dense chocolate cake with chocolate chips and fudge icing smothered with strawberries and whipped cream.

At the Strawberry Patch

Sarah

So add another food to the list that I was excited about and then saw the vendor. Last time the Strawberry Patch had a featured new food it was not good, so I am very cautious about this one. They haven’t burned me enough to be angry about it, yet, but I’m definitely wary. Outside of that, though, this looks pretty good. Except for the chocolate chips. Chocolate chips are a bastard food. People stick them on anything for “reasons” and think it improves the dish but they are wrong. Chocolate chips are only good when they’re melted in something, so like a hot cookie or brownie. But just thrown on something? Fuck no.

And probably this will be cold because it seems the strawberry patch only serves cold strawberries so that will make them even more objectionable.

Shit. The more I think about this the more angry I get.

This is butts. BAD butts, this time. Did you know that butts can be bad and good? Well they can.

Anne

First, I see they understand the difference between whipped cream and whipping cream, so they’ve apparently already got a leg up.

But honestly, this sounds ok. I am not overly fond of relying on chocolate chips to ‘add’ more chocolate, and chocolate and strawberry is just an ok combo to me. Is the strawberry Patch the place that we had that crappy donut strawberry sammich 2 years ago?

Holy shit y’all, it is. I thought for sure they would’ve been banned for life from the new foods list as they RAN OUT of the Strawberry Donut Delight 2 years ago! And when we finally got it it only ranked a D. Last time the strawberries were frozen and the whipped cream was from a can.

I guess we’ll see if they’ve stepped up their game, but I HIGHLY doubt it.

Patrick

This really reminds me of the strawberry donut delight that the Strawberry Patch made as a new food item two years ago. This looks as equally underwhelming. I don’t really like mixing chocolate and strawberries on my best days, but this just looks and sounds boring and unappetizing. It looks like a hockey puck surrounded by strawberries mashed with someone’s fists. I just feel like this place has no creativity. Two years ago, they said let’s throw mashed strawberries on a glazed donut, brilliant! Now they’re saying, let’s throw mashed strawberries onto a dense (who wants dense cake?) chocolate cake, revolutionary! Next year they’ll be exploring really wild territory by mixing strawberries and cream, oooooh.

Turduken Sausage Sandwich

A blend of turkey, duck and chicken served on a fennel bun and accompanied by a side of Giggles’ sweet and saucy relish. Gluten-free; no nitrates added.

At Giggle's Campfire Grill

Sarah

Huh. Okay, so normally Giggles is our absolute favorite place at the fair. Except last year their new food was a rare dud. And they got rid of the chicken fried bacon which broke our collective hearts.

So I still love Giggles. But I’m a little shy, now. Mostly, I think, because I’m not sure about this. It pretty much just looks like a sausage in a bun. Yes it’s a turducken sausage, but, also, that’s just a regular sausage, with turkey, duck, and chicken. That’s how the sausage gets made, Aaron Burr. You just grind up a bunch of meat, fat, and herbs and spices and stick them in some casings. Done.

I worry that this might be dry, because fowl sausage typically is drier than, say, pork. But maybe the duck fat will be enough to offset the chicken and turkey? I mean, logically that should work. Fun fact about the three of us: we make our own sausages, so we can be harsh judges of it (I’m looking at you, Fresh Thyme, with your terrible sausages.)

Also, there’s nothing served with it, other than the relish, which I am underwhelmed by, so this sausage just better be one of the best, to be able to stand on its own, like that. Also, there are a lot of great sausage places already at the fair, so they’re going up against some tough competitions.

So we’ll see. I love you, Giggles, and I hope this blows me away.

Anne

So I’ve always wanted to try a turducken, but putting it into a sausage seems…disingenuous? LOTS sausages are a mix of meats to help temper the fat levels and make sure it’s not too dry. So I don’t think this really counts as turducken- it’s just sausage.

Also...does...does this ACTUALLY count as a sandwich...?

Wikipedia says it needs to be meat/veggies/cheese between slices of bread, which means this doesn't count. To be sure, I double checked with my friend Stacy who is descended from the Earl of Sandwich (100% truthful here), so she counts as a sandwich expert in my mind. Her response: Sandwiches are square. Buns are round or tubular, so no it doesn't count as a sandwich.

There you have it folks!

Giggles’ is almost 100% great (RIP 2017) so I’m fairly confident that this will be quite tasty. I was just hoping for something more exciting from them. Also BRING BACK THE CHICKEN FRIED BACON!

Patrick

Giggles is always a delicious staple at the fair. You gotta go there for their crazy (yup) awesome crab cakes, and pretty much almost anything on their menu is great. Last year they had a rare swing and miss with their duck fat wontons, and it was doubly a sad blow to find out they had ceased making chicken-fried bacon (sob!). I feel like this year they kept it simple, which is maybe a good rebound idea, but still lured me in with the clever idea of turning a turducken into a sausage. I’ve secretly always wanted to try a real turducken, so this is a real dream come true opportunity. I even like the looks of that sweet and saucy relish. I’m hoping to fall in love all over again with Giggles, and hope this is the bouquet of flowers to make up for the hurt caused last year. We’ll get through this Giggles…just keep shoving your delicious foods in my mouth. That sounded kind of sexual…maybe it was. Maybe it was.

Up North Puff Pastry

Porketta sausage, cheese curds, coarse grain mustard and chopped dill pickle baked in a puffy crust sprinkled with pepper and sea salt.

At Sausage Sister and Me

Sarah

Yeah okay. This sounds like it could be great! The picture, though, looks a little underwhelming so I’m trying not to look at that and instead read the description because that’s where it really seems to shine.

I hope this is good. Little things you eat with your hands, like pies, or pockets, or pasties, are kind of the best, so I’m already predisposed to like this so as long as they don’t fuck it up, we’ll be aces.

Anne

Sausage Sister! You’re back! (not that they went anywhere- they’ve been in the new foods all along. They just sort of missed the mark the last year or two).

I chortled when I saw that they stuffed cheese curds into this. OF COURSE YOU DID! That’s how you add cheese at the freaking MNSF. Can’t wait to taste this.

Patrick

Why hello there Sausage Sisters. I’m always excited to see what you bring to the table each year. It’s not always great, but I like that you try, and stay true to your roots. I like the sound of this new attempt, yes I do. Sausage, cheese curds, coarse grain mustard, and pickles in a puff pastry crust? How can that not be good? I guess we’ll find out come time that I shove you in my craw. Here’s hoping you found a winner this year. If not, I can always go back for those baller meat balls.

Wood Grilled Elote

Corn on-the-cob grilled over an oak wood fire, brushed with chile-spiced mayo and sprinkled with queso Cotija & fresh lime juice.

At Tejas Express

Sarah

No. OHHHHH NOOOOOOOO. PACKIE. PACKIE WE ARE IN TROUBLE.

Anne has been trying to get Packie and me to try elote for years now. And we’ve always said “NO. NO WE WILL NOT DO THAT.” I mean, for me it makes more sense because, as previously stated a lot, Sarah doesn’t like Mexican food. Packie does, though, so who knows why he won’t try it.

Oh wait, it’s the mayo.

I just…I don’t want stuff on my corn on the cob.

But my objections have finally reached an impasse. Much like other things this year, the fair has spoken, and so in a few short weeks I will finally be trying elote for the first (and most likely last) time.

You got me, fair. You got me good.

Anne

YES! OMFG YES! Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get Sarah and Packie to eat freaking Elote?! (In their defense, they’ve tasted it once but it was a sub-par example). NOW THEY FREAKING HAVE TO EAT IT AND WILL RECOGNIZE HOW DELICIOUS IT ACTUALLY IS!

Dear god, DO NOT let me down Tejas Express. YOU BETTER FREAKING DELIVER! Looking forward to eating this and reveling in Sarah and Packie’s sweet, sweet irritation followed by their grudging respect when they discover how delicious it is.

Patrick

Ah hell crap damnit poop ass banana skunk. Elote is something I heard described of once as a corn on-the-cob covered in mayo and cheese, and I thought to myself: “that sounds like some disgusting crap, and I feel no desire whatsoever to try that.” People tell me, “no, it’s actually really good, you should just try it.” I laughed and responded, “Shut up Anne! You shut your dumb mouth. You’re spitting corn, mayo and cheese and making God cry with that nonsense, so keep your mouth shut while you eat that heathen cob.” Even my friend, who hates mayo (haaaates it), eats this shit! That’s like me saying, “hey, I’d never eat worms, but throw them on a cob and sprinkle with cheese, and you got a real seller there, champ.” NO, that doesn’t make sense, and neither does this stupid Elote! Well, you finally win Anne. I finally HAVE to try Elote as per our “try everything new” at the fair oath. Even if I find out by some miracle that I like this, I’m going to begrudgingly admit it with all the scorn and disdain I have for this monstrosity.

Za-Waffle Sticks

Waffles blended with pepperoni and mozzarella, topped with a parmesan herb blend and served with pepperoni-infused maple syrup or marinara sauce.

At Green Mill

Sarah

The last few years Green Mill has put out some of our favorite foods. I mean, they’re always just riffs off pizza, natch, but they’re always so frickin good! And look at this little fucker! These look great and I expect they will be!

Also, pepperoni-infused maple syrup? That sounds fucking absolutely bonkers and I cannot wait to try it.

So many good butts, here.

Anne

God Damn, Green Mill you absolute fucking delight. Green Mill is consistently an A vendor with crazy, delightful and delicious pizza offerings every year, and this year appears to be no exception. PEPPERONI INFUSED MAPLE SYRUP?! GTFO (right into ma mouf).

Patrick

Tee-hee, oh Green Mill. How do you do it? Every year you find some new and clever way to Italian-ize some food item and make it amazing. Pizza waffles? This looks great, and I’m always so wonderfully surprised by how amazing a job Green Mill does every year at putting out something fun and new. Does pepperoni-infused maple syrup sound like something I want on my pizza waffle? Hell no, but I’m gonna do it, and it’ll be great! I’ll eat it all, shake my head and smile up at that Green Mill truck. “Oh Green Mill, you clever scamp. Don’t ever change.”

Zesty PB&J Sausage

Peanut butter, cherry jelly and a hint of cayenne pepper and cilantro blended into a quarter-pound sausage.

At Gass Station Grill

Sarah

Lots of sausages on the list this year, but this one is kind of zany and wacky in a good way so I’m excited to try it. Like Giggles, this sausage is served plain, but unlike Giggles, this sausage itself looks like it’s supposed to carry it’s own weight (heh, literally since it’s gonna be hefty) so I’m excited to see how much of the peanut butter and jelly flavor comes through. I hope a fair amount. I will be disappoint if I can’t taste the peanut butter.

Also, though, cherry jelly? What the actual fuck? Is that even a real jelly? Listen, everyone knows grape jelly is how you make pb&js. Then if you aren’t going to do that, you do raspberry, or maybe strawberry. Cherry, though? What is this, Michigan? No. It’s Minnesota. Calm down.   

Anne

Hahah, what?! Peanut Butter Sausage? You crazy Gass Station Grill.

I am really not sure what to expect, but I hope the PB&J really shine through in this- if this is just a normal sausage with a hint of those flavors I am gonna be disappoint. GO BIG OR GO HOME.

Patrick

Oooh what? Gross! No, hell no! Where the hell did this theme come from where you shove everything imaginable into a sausage and think it’s a good idea? Why would I want these two things tossed in with meat? Peanut butter with meat is strange enough, but I’ve accepted by some strange food sorcery, that it can actually be pretty great. I’ll admit, again to much perplexion, that something like lingonberry jam somehow goes great with Swedish meatballs and gravy. Together though? Stuffed inside a sausage skin with sausage meat? This is a failure waiting to happen. What’s your first gut reaction to hearing “Peanut Butter and Jelly Sausage”? It’s gross! Go with that reaction.

And that’s it! The next step will be actually eating the foods and judging them accordingly. If you want to follow along live, check out our Instagrams at:

Sarah_Ahiers

AnneAhiers

Patrick_Ahiers